Friday, March 7, 2008

And Now For Something Completely Different

It has been stated before that I... am a dumbass.

I know this. This is not news to me. I don't think I'm particularly stupid, but sometimes I just do stupid things. And then I call myself a dumbass. It happens, you know? If you look over to the left, you will read the sentence in my profile that goes like this: "... book-smart but street-stupid". That's what I mean, I know things and I'm intelligent when it comes to academics, but sometimes the street smarts just aren't there. I think everyone has their 'Oh damn, that was stupid of me' moments. I... just have them more frequently and publicly.

Like when I answer the phone and I mispronounce my own name. "Hi, my name is Eeuuuwwioe and I... um. Can I help you...?" Who does that?! This happens to me surprisingly often... (Actually when I do that it reminds me of this guy I once met, Keith? He was French, and had a really thick accent. He had trouble with the 'th' sound, so he could never pronounce his own name. "Hi, I'm Keit'," he would say. It was adorable.)

Er... where was I? Oh yes. Dumbass. Right.


The worst part is almost anytime I do something stupid, I both a) know I'm doing something dumb but apparently can't stop myself from doing it, and b) make a big deal out of how stupid what I just did was, thus drawing attention to it, which in turn makes it worse. And I do this all the time. Like, excessively so. Even mice know to stop reaching for the treat when it shocks them... My friends think it's funny, and it's a quirk of mine they've gotten used to.


Now understand I'm not talking about anything overly serious here. At most I mean something like, putting a chair in front of the cupboard to reach the high shelf... before opening the cupboard door, and then struggling with the door while standing on the chair and wondering why it won't open. (I did this when I was six. My mom sat there and just stared, and wondered how the hell I had taught myself to read when I couldn't even open a cupboard door. True story.)

I promise I have a point.

See, I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I watched the first season while knitting the Neverending Scarf from Hell (look back a few posts and you'll see the one I mean), and while at first glance I just kinda went, "Well it's nice but I don't see what the big deal is about"... when I finished I realized I was hooked and wanted to watch the 2nd season now, now NOW. (Also, David Boreanaz? I never saw what the big deal with him was, either, and then I started watching Buffy... and a little light went on in my head. And today I watched part of season 2 and Spike showed up. Yum.)

So I watched the first three episodes of Season 2, with the aforementioned Spike appearance, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Now when I like something the first thing I usually do is run to Wikipedia and find out all I possibly can about it. Can anyone see where this is going? Anyone? Bueller?

Spoilers, right.

Below is the paragraph detailing the second season, with the spoilers edited out and replaced with what I am pretty sure is an accurate transcribing of what the intelligent part of my brain was yelling out to me at the time.

"The emotional stakes are raised in the second season. New vampires, Spike and a weakened Drusilla, come to town [Hey hey, that was humongous spoiler!]. Xander [Maybe you shouldn't be reading this!], while Willow [WHY ARE YOU STILL READING YOU TWIT!]. Buffy [AARRGHH!] Angel. Consequentially, she [WHAT! WHY?!?!]. He [That's it. I give up on you.]. Buffy [Consider this my two weeks' notice.]."

At least I stopped before I read the third season...

(What? Knitting? Oh yeah, right. Um. Cast on for a bib. Slacking off on scarves. More news when I have 'em.)

1 comment:

Kay said...

make a big deal out of how stupid what I just did was, thus drawing attention to it, which in turn makes it worse.

... I totally do that. All the time. It's like OH MY GOD WILL EVERYBODY JUST TURN THEIR ATTENTION TO THE REMARKABLY STUPID THING I JUST DID. SEE, ISN'T IT STUPID. I PROMISE I'M NOT USUALLY THIS STUPID, BUT WOW, IS THIS NOT STUPID?

I should stop doing that.